I recently joined Spacehey, and then subsequently deleted my account 4 days later. I wanna talk about it a little.

Originally, it seemed like such a good idea! I was too young to properly use myspace, or perhaps I was just a little too sheltered... But regardless, my point is that despite being around the age where it was a popular place to hang out, I never really did. My first social media, in fact, was Bebo! Does anyone remember that?!

Anyway, back on track. I thought it might be fun to sort of live an experience I skirted around, but otherwise avoided. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and engaging with an idie social media sounded fun by itself! The slow pace of it was appealing, and I was eager to make new friends.

This, however, was fortunately short lived.

Day one of Spacehey was uneventful. I struggled finding my way around the site and it was slow as fuck, but I got there. It seemed rather lively, new people were joining all the time, and I was looking forward to checking the place out some more!

Day two was when I got a little more involved, checking out some blog entries, some groups and forum posts... This should have been my first red flag, because most of what I was reading about was regarding children and school, but I nonetheless persisted. There were few lights in the dark tunnels, and I did my best to reach out to adult users.

Day three was more eventful! Some users had gotten back to me, and I was looking forward to replying! But I got really sick this day, so I avoided much communication. Instead, I ended up customizing my profile and taking another good look at blogs and such. This day started ringing alarm bells, but I'm an optimistic person... So I kept trying...

Day 4. Judgement day. But to be less silly, it was this day that prompted me into deleting my account and wanting to write this diary entry. Let's talk about it!

Spacehey has a few problems, and I wouldn't really consider the majority children userbase to be one by itself... But rather, there aren't enough proper precautions put in place for it's main userbase. And this is the main issue I have with the site. The amount of 13 or under children I saw on there was ridiculous, and the amount of them that tried to add me despite including "adult, 20+, MDNI" in my "about me" section was stupid. Kids these days have no self preservation, and they're existing on that app with their full face as their profile picture? It's so dangerous! And of course, I understand that there's only so much Spacehey themselves can do, but it was highly uncomfortable to experience and witness.

Related to the majority minor userbase, I spotted at least EIGHT groomers on that website on day 4. Like, not even trying to hide it? Containting things like... "Adult, any age can add, but be warned that I'm a flirty freak." among other suspicious content. Like... C'mon now!!!

I also saw a couple of profiles that stated things similar to "13, female, sexting older men!" which is so fucking gross like I simply can't even begin to understand...

And then I also ran into a couple of profiles that were looking for shtwt users, which I'm not gonna elaborate upon but iykyk. This one in particular could lead down an especially dark rabbit hole that I don't care to name here, out of the fear that if you're currently unaware, I don't want to bring attention to it for you to fall down a similar rabbit hole.

But anyway, fair to say that I reported every account I came across that fell into the above lines, though I'm not sure if anything will actually be done about it. I haven't stuck around to find out, because am I fuck staying on a site where children rule the place, and the remaining users seem to be groomers, pedophiles, or sh enthusiasts. Whilst on the site, I saw a lot of people complaining about a lack of moderation already, so I'm not hopeful...

But yeah, not a very fun place to be. Highly DO NOT recommend. Stay away.

30th April, 2025

sniffs...

Yesterday, I went to the doctors for an issue I've been experiencing for the last 2/3 years...

Why did I leave the issue so long? mostly because I assumed the cause of the issue, and didn't see the need to go to the doctors. Something about the fact that I'm so used to going to the doctors, that I had already played the scenario out in my head and took the actions I thought my doctor would give me anyway.

But curiosity finally got the better of me, and I made an appointment to get my issue checked out! And thank God I did, truthfully.

The issue? Phantosmia! Basically, smelling scents that aren't there or real.

Originally, I had simply assumed this to be a symptom of long covid. Beause about 2/3 years ago, I suffered a really bad case of covid, and then right at the back of it, I suffered two bouts of sinusitis. I wasn't experiencing the phantosmia during covid or the sinusitis cases, but when the symptom presented after the fact, it was easy for me to relate the two.

So anyway, I was living my life for the past 2/3 years whilst inconsistently consistently smelling burning wood. No one else around me could smell it, and the smell wasn't location specific... As in I would smell it in my room, at the store, in the doctors office, at my partners house, etc. Almost like the smell was following me around! And it often got so bad to the point that the smell would catch in the back of my throat and it would burn!!! It affected my asthma too, and would make me cough over the fake smell!

Ultimately, the symptom is more annoying than anything damaging, and it might sound silly to say that it was impacting my QOL, but it really was! I couldn't sleep because of how strong the smell was at times, I couldn't eat because everything tasted of burning wood, I couldn't relax because my eyes were watering and my throat was closing over this faux smell!

So I relayed all this information and more to my doctor, and unsurprisingly, they gave me some important information!

The phantosmia could be as a result of long covid... But it could also be related to other things! Such as:

• Sinusitis, of course. I'd have thought it might be a common symptom during the infection, but apparently it can last afterward too!
• Migraines! Apparently, they can affect more than just your eyes and head, which is news to me! I quite often suffer from ocular migraines, and people in my family have been known to have migraine disorders, so this sounds like a likely cause.
• Acid Reflux. I don't personally think I have acid reflux; the doctors only think so because I also have lumps in my neck (thanks sinusitis) that is sometimes linked to acid reflux, but the hospital said it's more likely that the lumps are just shot lymph nodes from when I got sick three times in a row. They englarged and just never went down. (thank covid, sinusitis, and sinusitis x2!!!)
• Nothing! Sometimes phantosmia happens for no reason at all, and cannot be treated.

But for the other potential causes mentioned, there is thankfully treatment! As such, the doctors have sent me home with two medicines...

1. A steroid nasal spray. Something about opening my nose up.
2. And a recipe list to make a homemade concoction LOL... Like a magic spell...
• 1 pint of water, boiled, and then allowed to cool.
• Half a teaspoon of salt.
• Half a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda.
• Mix together and wait until it's completely cooled.
• Grab a syringe, and do a nasal douche.
• This should help clear and clean my nasal passages.
3. Take both meds twice a day, morning and night.

I'm on day two of taking the medication, and so far so good! It's difficult to measure because the phantom smell isn't consistent as to when/where/how it appears, so I might just have been lucky lately... But the smell hasn't showed up since taking both the steroid spray and the syringe solution! So I'm hopeful that perhaps the phantom smell is tied to sinusitis complications, or a migraine disorder!

Only time will tell I suppose, but I'm feeling very hopeful! And in the event that these steps don't help, at the very least I know that the cause isn't anything more serious. They did some neurological testing on me too and everything is fine, so it's not tumor related... It'd just be annoying if the root cause of it was "nothing" and subsequently, nothing would help.

But I can live with that. That's not scary or dangerous.

26th April, 2025

downloading updates: 3, 2, 1...

Hello, I'm here to yap.

Mostly, I wanna get down in writing what I plan on adding/update to my website. One, so that I don't personally forget and I can reference this diary entry in the future. And two, for funsies. Maybe you're curious about what's coming next too?

So. Here's my list!

• More shrines! Particularly...
• Paradise Killer and Promise Mascot Agency (maybe better to simply do a Kaizen Game Works page? But the aesthetics of both games are so wildly different... I dunno, gotta think about it...!),
• Mion Sonozaki, or perhaps a more general Higurashi shrine?
• Guardian Angels!
• Something dedicated to Kindred, my favourite LoL character lore wise...
• A page all about my favourite fish!
• And likely many, many more...
• I'd also really love to make a quiz of sorts! Something Stardew Valley related no doubt... However, providing I can make one, I'm sure I'd love to make more! They'd go under the "Fun" button on my main index I think.
• More shiny/imvu buttons are in order too I think! Again, I'd like to make more Stardew Valley related buttons next, but the net is mine. There are so many words I can put on them!
• And generally speaking, more graphics/resources in general will be created. I love pixel art!
• More and more templates and tutorials too! Probably more of the former, because I really only write tutorials when I'm asked to, or when I find something difficult and would like to share my findings for others just in case they also find it difficult. Or if it's something JS related. But templates are always so fun and easy to make! And I enjoy so many aesthetics, so templates are a good outlet for that I think!

I'm sure there are more pages to be made that I'm forgetting about, but those above are at the forefront of my mind. Does that mean they're most important to me? Does the order reflect my subconscious hierarchy?

Does it matter?

Anyway, I started writing this entry at like 12pm and it's now 7.30pm LOL... Ah, I got so busy doing so many other things... I think i was gonna type "Anyway, here are the things I have to do today!" but they happened before I could even finish my sentence I guess!

First, I had to help my mom build a new couch— specifically for her dog. Because he likes to people watch at the window, and needs somewhere to sit to be able to look out said window. I like building furniture actually, it's like adult lego to an extent...

Then, I had to deal with my pets. Cleaning, feeding, watering. Cleaning their living spaces actually takes a long time, especially when I'm also restocking at the same time. And, considering that after each deep clean, my room ends up being a mess of substrate and such... So I then also had to clean my room from all the mess afterwards!

Then, I had to help move furniture. Because my mom gave me some pirate ass looking chest for storage, and it was heavy as fuck. But I had to make room for it, which meant moving my whole two monitor pc setup, including my heavy ass printer AAAA my back still hurts lmfao!!!

And finally, my new switches and keycaps arrived for my new base keyboard, so I spent a good hour building that and somehow ended up cutting my finger in the process? I also accidentally disconnected the ribbon for the LCD attached to the keyboard and spent so long trying to get it back in (I managed to reconnect it thank God...)

And now... I'm exhausted... So I'm ending this entry here...

24th April, 2025

fishy business...

For such a simple looking web page, I had some amount of trouble in coding it and setting it up exactly the way I wanted it to look LOL...

I was inspired to make this page using this aesthetic due to coming across a few layout pages recently. Namely, snow-drops, shukuya, and auroraveil. The style of the layouts there feel so nostalgic, and the simplistic complexity is really appealing to me... Though I'm a lot more lazy than the owners of those layouts are, because I made this page incredibly minimalistic in comparison. I still like it though. I enjoy the black and white look, especially with the Yoshitaka Amano illustration on the side! I would like to implement some sort of sorting system at some point for this page too, cause I can imagine that this will be hell to traverse as the years go on. Maybe through usage of the details tag?

Regardless, hi, hello. I'm writing my first diary entry.

You maybe have noticed that the blog section is gone from my homepage, and that's because I think I prefer writing to myself, as opposed to writing when the intended audience is others. Like, sure, people can read these entries to their hearts content, but it's not like these entries have a purpose beyond my own enjoyment. Blog writing, however, feels inherently for an audience. I don't like that. I only care about myself.

As for myself, well... I've been really fucking burnt out recently. Creatively. And it's impacting my whole life!!!!! Something like... If I can't create, then what's the point in anything? I've been unable to finish any of my creative projects to a capacity that feels fulfilling. Nothing helps. Nothing was helping.

Until I decided to paint some fish.

There's something so instinctively soothing about water, right? Something particularly calming in regards to the ocean. Even just thinking about aquatic life makes me feel a bit better, to be honest with you. And I love fish! They're so pretty and colorful and varied; I thought they'd be the perfect paint subject!

And it actually really helped if I'm honest. I still want to paint much more! I wanna make a whole aquarium of fish! But yeah. Moral of todays entry: When life sucks and nothing is working out the way you want it to, try painting some fish.